Translation to English of the Purported Benefits of iLok Copy Protection Dongles

The iLok USB Hardware Key is a device that holds authorization licenses and connects via the USB port to your computer.

You’re a criminal.

It’s Portable: iLok enables you to easily move authorizations from one computer to another. Use your software at home, at the office, at a studio, or at a friend’s house. iLok makes it portable.

We’ll happily sell you another when you inevitably lose this one.

It’s Safe: Authorizations are stored in the secure iLok USB hardware key — not on the computer or hard drive. iLok is immune to problems caused by machine upgrades, disk maintenance, hardware failures, and software updates.

Your $2,500 laptop is crap. Trust our $40 USB dongle instead.

It’s Convenient: Store all of your iLok-enabled software authorizations on a single iLok USB hardware key, regardless of developer.

You only own one piece of software that requires iLok, but you’ll have to install it anyway. Setup takes just an hour and only requires us to install a kernel extension, a browser plug-in, and a user-space daemon, all of which probably compromise your machine’s security and stability in ways we could care less about because at least our software is safe.

Also: bend over. You’re a criminal.