It’s really amazing how brains behave when they’re about to fall asleep. I’ve been sick and in bed for the last twenty-four hours (some kind of stomach flu); I’ve been nearly asleep for most of the time, but have only actually slept in fitful spurts. This has given me the opportunity to capture some of my near-sleep delirium.

For example, I remember thinking this:

I hate it when I go to sleep without congestion, but wake up with congestion on my left half or top half or right half; it’s kind of like I sold my congestion to someone when I was twelve and now they’re charging me interest.

And this:

There can be no flubbertygubbles; these would make no sense if there were.

What baffles me is that while such monologue makes no sense, it is grammatically flawless. It’s almost like my brain has entered into a temporary aphasia where grammar becomes lucid and words irrelevant.

I have these sorts of thoughts when I’m healthy and falling asleep, too, but it is much harder to remember them.

I also encounter other sorts of perceptive delirium moments before I’m asleep. For example, I often have images of my body grossly distorted in size or shape; I might have enormous legs and a tiny head, or a watermelon head with feet only. What’s odd is that, depending on the distortion, I might actually feel heavy, or light-headed, or off balance. I assume this is my vestibular system signing off, but the effect is very surreal.

Do you have similar sorts of near-sleep delirium?